My Promise to My son Zachy — He never stood a chance.
A Mother’s Story, A Warning, A Prayer.
I was 8½ months old in the photo at the top of this post — tiny toes, that baby smell, that look he gave me that said, “I love you.” I took so many pictures and videos of Baby Zachy back then and sent every one of them to his dad in Afghanistan. At the time I thought I was sending them so he wouldn’t miss anything. I didn’t know it then, but those photos were really for me — a gift to my future self of the boy I once held.
It took me 4½ years to see clearly. For years I lived in a fog of trust — trust in doctors, trust in the system, trust that “well baby” visits were safe. I now understand that what happened to my beautiful son was not an accident. Over the course of those early years he changed slowly, quietly, and then dramatically. The little boy who smiled and babbled was gone, replaced by a child who could no longer speak the way he used to, who suffered seizures, who developed severe OCD behaviors and profound developmental delays. He lost so much: his voice, his independence, his future.
I carry guilt every single day. I took him to those appointments. I signed the forms. No one told me — not in a way I could understand then — about the terrible outcomes that would follow. Even now, years later, the medical professionals I trusted still deny what our family lived through and gaslight me when I try to tell the truth about Zachy’s life. Imagine waiting and praying for a child for twenty years, finally holding that child in your arms, and then watching the life you dreamed for him taken away.
This is my reality: a mother who promised her son she would be his voice when he could no longer speak for himself. I made a vow to Zachy that I would tell his story — not to shame, not for attention, but to warn others, to spare another parent the grief that lives inside me every day. I do this because I love him, because I owe him the truth, and because I cannot let his suffering be invisible.
If my story reaches even one parent, grandparent, or caregiver and makes them ask questions, seek second opinions, or look deeper into the choices they make for their children, then Zachy’s life — and my pain — will have had a purpose. I don’t want another baby, child, or pet to suffer the way Zachy did. I will keep speaking. I will keep sharing his pictures. I will keep fighting so his story is known.
“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”
Hosea 4:6
If you’ve been through something similar and want to share, or if you want to know more about our journey, please reach out. Share this post if you feel led. Thank you for listening, for praying, and for standing with us.
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.